What would you like to see?

So I'm trying to get a direction for this blog but its though to centralize on just one them. I know some people follow just to keep up on my life, others for the greenie stuff, and still others for my wonderful amazing (wink wink) insights. So I'm looking for opinions. Are you ok with where my blog is or are you looking for something specifically.?

The current struggle in my life.

I want to let you all know first that this is a very honest confession, one that is hard to put out there but by doing so I think it will help me thing through everything. I like "seeing things in print" and I value your opinions.

Image: Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Church....I love my Church I love what it represents that it is reaching out to others and inviting them in. I love the people in it, they are my local family. But because of the outreach mission of my Church 70% of the time the sermons are very well... basic. Again there is nothing wrong with this but I'm finally in a place where I want to learn, I want to know the history and the background not just the stories. I've got the basics down. Don't get me wrong I have no plans to leave my Church that would honestly hurt to much. These people were with me during the hardest parts of my life and are now celebrating the good times with me. I have no desire to leave I just have a desire to learn. We do have small groups and the point of those are to feed the 'non-beginners' so to speak. However the series we are doing isn't what I thought it would be. It is more a discussion about common "rules" of Christianity and challenging their merit. There isn't a lot of study to it like I thought there would be. I've been doing some studying on my own and Ry and I are going to start soon (he has a much more in depth background than I do.) so that is exciting to me.

I wish there could be a happy medium. but those Churches just don't make it in this world. You have to the either or.

So here is the contemplative part. The question I guess. My Church does a good job of clearly stating that Church is for the seekers and Bible study is where we get the meat. Why don't other seeker Churches do this??? Have we become so complacent that these basic sermons are enough? Do we just go to Church because we are supposed to and really aren't paying attention? I'm glad that there are Churches out there for the new Christians but if we the 'long time' Christians are going to them without any other supplement (devotions, Bible study, etc.) how are we learning anything?

De-masculating Men

Why is it that its ok to make fun and yell at Men on TV but not Women? I don't think it should be ok for either. I don't really know what is going on with the whole "Jon and Kate plus 8" think I've only seen 1 or 2 episodes and honestly can't remember much about them to be honest. However with everything in the media you can't ignore the situation. From what I've heard (who knows whats true its 'reality TV') Kate is constantly yelling on the show. What if that was reversed what if Jon was the one yelling? Would anyone watch it? Would it have been canceled? Why do we as a culture think its ok to de-masculate men in this way? Commercials are another big offender in this area. Our young people need men to look up to and respect. They shouldn't be taught that its ok to treat them this way... Biblicly Men are to be the head of the household. How can this happen when all we do is put them down?

So what do we do? I don't know, But now that I have cable I know I won't be watching that show, reruns or not.

A few new rules

So here are a few new "rules" for the next few months. Maybe if I write them down I'll stick to them better:
1) Try to drink 2 sigg bottles of water while at work.
2) No blatant sugar till the wedding (It makes me break out.)
3) While interpreting I will not have anything up on the computer to distract me (unless on hold.)
4) Start cooking again (I'm so excited its been a looong time since I've really cooked.)

Now to talk about some old rules. Fiance and I started pre-marital counseling the other day and the Pastor gave us a book to read. One of the questions it asked are what are the unspoken rules you have for life? I found this interesting here are a few of mine:
1) Don't be late, if you can be early.
2) Always kiss me goodnight/later(good-bye.)
3) You don't need Drinks, appetizers, and dessert when eating out (except on special occasions.)
5) Pick up after yourself.

Just to name a few. I can definitely see how these could create conflict in a marriage or even with friends.

What are some of your unspoken rules? Think about dinner, holidays (traditions,) the house and stuff like that.

Words to a song

I found these lyrics on a friends Facebook status this morning. To be honest I'm not even sure if I've heard the song before but I love the lyrics. I've been trying to find a song for the wedding and I'm having a hard time finding one that is lyrically strong AND Musically acceptable for a wedding. Plus it needs to have an accompaniment track and sound good with girls singing it...too many requirements. But never the less I like the lyrics to this song, and if you have any suggestions for the wedding let me know.

When the sun came up,
We were sleeping in.
Sunk inside our blankets,
Sprawled across the bed.
And we... were dreaming.

There are moments when,
When I know it ends.
The world revolves around us,
And we're keeping it,
Keep it all going,
This delicate balance,
Vulnerable, all knowing.

Sing like you think no one's listening,
You would kill for this,
Just a little bit,
just a little bit,
You would kill for this.
Sing like you think no ones listening,
You would kill for this,
Just a little bit,
just a little bit,
You would,
you would...

Sing me something soft,
Sad and delicate.
Or loud and out of key,
Sing me anything.
We're glad for what we've got,
Done with what we've lost.

Our whole lives laid out,
Right in front of us.

Sing like you think no one's listening,
You would kill for this,
Just a little bit,
just a little bit,
You would
Sing like you think no one's listening,
You would kill for this,
Just a little bit,
just a little bit,
You would,
you would

Sing me something soft,
Sad and delicate.
Or loud and out of key,
Sing me anything...

Looking for a Bible Study

I just finished my Esther Bible and I liked it a lot! I'm now looking for one about being a Godly wife. I want it to be rooted in scripture and that seems to be the problem there are lots of books out there but not a lot of studies. Help! I'm looking for a self study as well. My life is going to be pretty hectic for a while and I don't think I can commit to a night a week for the time being. Any Ideas out there?

Purim

I've been learning about the Jewish holiday Purim in Bible study recently. Its actually pretty cool its the celebration of deliverance from the hands of enemy in Esther. They celebrated their deliverance with feasting, gifts and giving to the poor. (Esther 9:20-22)

This got me thinking do we actually take time to celebrate what God has done for us? We celebrate his birth, and his resurrection, but do we celebrate the freedom, joy, peace, love, grace and everything else that he gives us? Here are just a few of the things I'm thankful for:

The amazing love of Ryan, my family and my friends
The strength he gave me over the last few years.
The ability to travel, and the family and friends to stay with when I do.
Deliverance from a past of weakness, and attention seeking behaviors.
Confidence to try new things (trust me this is new within the last 6 years.)

That is just a few of the things that God has blessed me with or saved me from. How different would out attitude be if we focused on these things deliberately?

Emotions/Question

Emotions are good, they can show love, joy , surprise, happiness, all of those great things. But it can also be tough. Here is my current revelation. Last night I had a lot of emotions going on, frustration, anger, sadness, stress and worry. All of these emotions at the same time caused a problem. I get confused on who gets what emotion...it sounds dumb but if you think about it I bet you do too. I give the worst emotion to the person that I'm the most comfortable with. Here is an example:

Through no fault of his own Ryan can't come down this weekend like we had planned. At the same time I was angry about some other things and apparently decided to take it out on him. Not only that but I called him back with the express purpose of doing so (not a pretty picture.) Not cool, I don't like it when people do that to me so why on earth would I do that to someone I Love????Anyway we talked and are fine but I want to know how to prevent this. I don't want to accept this as reality and say " we always take it out on those we love ." I've decided that's not acceptable. So...HELP!!! Any ideas???

How do I make sure that I'm not taking out my emotions on the people I love if its not their fault/problem/issue? Honestly I need to find a better way to communicate when it is there issues as well if you have any advice on that. Have any of you been successful at this? Its going to have to be a very conscientious thing in my current situation.

Oh and a tag on question how do you address someone that you are upset with if you don't know them that well?

The power of perfection

Ok so lets start right out by saying I'm not perfect, I know this to be true. However that does not stop me from trying to be. The question is asked, why? Why do I feel the need to be perfect? I don't have a good answer honestly its self imposed. I know my parents never expected it they just wanted me to try my best. Ryan is well aware that I'm not perfect and has also never expected it from me. Its purely something that I've decided to strive for, not a wise decision, and something I'm working on.

So here is what I read today in my Beth Moore study on Esther that got me thinking:
" God has opened my eyes to the stronghold of perfectionism through loved ones who share their struggle. It's not only painful. It can be debilitating . After all, what would have happened if Esther had waited to go to the king until her hands stopped shaking and her heart stopped pounding?"

What fun things in life have I missed out on because of my strive for perfection? I know very well that the other day I was frustrating Ryan when he was trying to teach me how to stop on hockey skates. I didn't want him to watch until I had it figured out and he wanted to watch so he could help me. What other things in life have I overcomplicated?

I think a lot of the pressure I place on myself was when Mark was sick, I wanted to be the 'perfect wife' always strong and always caring for him. It just became a habit so this next paragraph from the study was very encouraging:
"Sometimes just surviving certain tasks with out falling apart IS out best and in those times God is not ashamed of our performance. He's proud of us for fighting overwhelming human emotions to do His will. God isn't interested in our stellar performance but in our hearts. He loves our willingness and obedience despite our insecurities."

Yea! So here is my question, how do I get beyond this?

What happend to us?

I interpret for a variety of people all day and somethings just shock me. I don't understand how some of our priorities have gotten so out of whack. We crave TV over heat, I have people who will call their phone companies because they are behind on their $125.00 a month cable bill and then call their family for help on their heat bill. Umm hello? Cut of the TV and pay for the heat!!!!! We have money for beer and cigarettes but not for food? I just don't understand.

Now I don't have problems with those priorities, but I have acknowledged many times that I despise my desire for all things 'worldly' but I can't seem to stop. Not having a TV has helped, I never fully understood how much those commercials affected me. however I still have the desire to look good for those around me. I want to have a nice house that is big enough for everything and everyone, the new car, nice TV the Wii, everything. But why?

I'm new to all of this.

I'm learning but I'm new so I'm looking for some help from all of you Greenies out there.

First of all the basics my husband has health issues so there are some things I just can't do for various reasons:
Move
Give up driving to work individually
Give up plastic entirely
and some more things I can't think of right now.

Here is what I'm looking for:

1)Ways for a 'city girl' to slowly change to a green girl

2)Healthy eco friendly snacks instead of my favorite Cheesy Chips

3) Ways to declutter my home

4) Ways to bring lunch to work that dosen't invlove plastic containers

I think thats a good start Please Help!