Knowlage into practice.

So Ryan and I are going through pre-marital counseling and it has been great! Part of what we are doing is reading through a book called "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before and After You Marry" By Les and Leslie Parrott. One of the chapters was talking about blame and how not only can we not blame our parents for everything that is wrong with us, we also have to take responsibility for our emotions. I admit this has been a struggle for me in two very different ways.

First of all when I was younger I couldn't control them very well at all, I was all over the place. Up and down happy then sad you never knew what was going to set me off. Then I became too controlling (except a few choice times.) I was pretty flat and honestly as time went on I stopped enjoying parts of life that take emotion to truly appreciate. So where does that leave me now? CONFUSED. Very confused.

I've had a lot going on lately good and bad and my brain can't seem to figure out how to handle it, some days I'm over the top other days in perfect control where is the balance? I need to take control of my emotions again not in the overbearing no emotion way but in the I'm allowed to react to things but life isn't going to end.

This applies to everyone here, when some one is mean, rude, spiteful or just plane inconsiderate we do have the ability to choose how we react. I'm not saying we don't have the right to be offended or to react at all I'm saying we don't have to let these things ruin our whole day necessarily. Face it some things are going to ruin a day (death for example) but other things don't have to. Maybe your spouse is tired and says something without thinking, you do have the right to be upset but don't let it ruin your day. This is an active choice and not an easy one. It's something I've been working on and seen some success. I hope to see more soon after some of the good stresses are done (wedding.)

Purim

I've been learning about the Jewish holiday Purim in Bible study recently. Its actually pretty cool its the celebration of deliverance from the hands of enemy in Esther. They celebrated their deliverance with feasting, gifts and giving to the poor. (Esther 9:20-22)

This got me thinking do we actually take time to celebrate what God has done for us? We celebrate his birth, and his resurrection, but do we celebrate the freedom, joy, peace, love, grace and everything else that he gives us? Here are just a few of the things I'm thankful for:

The amazing love of Ryan, my family and my friends
The strength he gave me over the last few years.
The ability to travel, and the family and friends to stay with when I do.
Deliverance from a past of weakness, and attention seeking behaviors.
Confidence to try new things (trust me this is new within the last 6 years.)

That is just a few of the things that God has blessed me with or saved me from. How different would out attitude be if we focused on these things deliberately?

Big Girl Pants

So God has been teaching me something lately. I'm not always right, I know I know big surprise. I'm aware I'm not always right but I have a problem admitting it sometimes and it leads to being quite rude. Especially when it is with someone I feel the need to impress, for example:

A few weeks ago, I started making a quilt. The plan was to have someone help me since it was my first one but I decided to start on my own. After all how complicated could it be? Well I was wrong. I didn't know how to cut correctly or that you should iron and square up the fabric first. When my helper noticed she tried to explain it to me and I got defensive. I don't remember where I went but when I came back I had an attitude check. I went back to her apologized and she taught me the right way. Luckily for me most of the blocks I already cut were salvageable!

Then again this morning. I woke up 11 min before my shift was supposed to start. I flew out of bed let the dog out got ready in minutes, let the dog back in and put him in his kennel with his food. I didn't have time to explain to my roommate that I was going to come back over lunch to let him out. So she called my brother to ask him to come over if he had time. When she texted me that my first reaction was anger, how dare she insinuate I can't take care of my dog....then I took a breath and realized two things. 1. I didn't tell her I was coming back 2. She did it because she cared about Dutch!

I'm so glad that God is teaching me this lesson, I need some patience and I need to learn to take a breath before I react because SOMETIMES my reaction is wrong. I pray that I will keep working on this I hope this becomes my habit instead of just reacting.