Humm so I was reading my book again ("The Search for Significance" by Robert S. McGee) and once sentence really hit me not just for spiritual reasons but for relationship reasons. Here it is " Conviction deals with your behavior, not our status before God."( pg133 in the new version)
This is also, I believe, how we should view our marriages. We need to understand that when our spouse is correcting or asking us to change something it doesn't affect their love for us its simply a behavior that needs adjustment. I have a bad habit of forgetting where I placed my phone and it drives my husband nuts however I know that when he points it out to me he doesn't love me any less he just doesn't want to spend money on a new phone.
However I have a harder time accepting that reality when he is pointing out my tone or something like that. Then it is much harder to remember the 'love' part and go straight to feeling guilty. This changes how I think he views my 'status' when in fact it does not. He still loves me just the same but he is trying to improve our communication.
Guilt refers to our status and how we think others feel about us.
Conviction is without guilt it doesn't change our status there is just room for improvement.
Wow, that could change marriages right there. If we could train ourselves to view things this way....If we could simply remember throughout the corrections and annoyances that you still love each other and your are only trying to better the marriage not tear each other apart or blame them for everything. We also make sure we are approaching things this way, building the marriage not tearing it down.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Who do I want to be?
It seems like it is impossible to make personal goals (loose weight, eat better, get in the Word more, and so on) and keep them so starting today I have a new approach. I'm going to map out who I want to be and then when I'm tempted to deviate I'll ask myself if it lines up with that "person."
Now understand I'm not trying to change my whole personality I like who I am in general but I feel like there are some parts of my life that I got 1/2 way to my goal and then became stagnant. These are things that I care about but seem to be stuck. So here is a rough draft of "Who I want to be"
I would like to be a Spirit led Bible fed, Godly wife. I want to eat not just healthy but quality foods that will enhance my life not take away from it. I want to take care of the earth in any practical way I can without becoming a full blown "nut." I want to take care of the body that God has given me by not sitting down all day, playing with the dog and exercising. I would like to stop being so materialistic and focus on the things that really matter and de-clutter my life. I want to be a friend that people know they can count on. I would also like to continue to improve my interpreting skill and not just be content with where I'm at.
Ok so there you have it I'm gong to tweak it and start applying it today. Here is to a new start to my old adventure.
Amber
Now understand I'm not trying to change my whole personality I like who I am in general but I feel like there are some parts of my life that I got 1/2 way to my goal and then became stagnant. These are things that I care about but seem to be stuck. So here is a rough draft of "Who I want to be"
I would like to be a Spirit led Bible fed, Godly wife. I want to eat not just healthy but quality foods that will enhance my life not take away from it. I want to take care of the earth in any practical way I can without becoming a full blown "nut." I want to take care of the body that God has given me by not sitting down all day, playing with the dog and exercising. I would like to stop being so materialistic and focus on the things that really matter and de-clutter my life. I want to be a friend that people know they can count on. I would also like to continue to improve my interpreting skill and not just be content with where I'm at.
Ok so there you have it I'm gong to tweak it and start applying it today. Here is to a new start to my old adventure.
Amber
Thursday, December 17, 2009
My Story
I've come to realize that there are some people reading this blog who didn't know me 2 years ago so I thought I would give a brief synopsis just so that some of My posts makes sense.
I'm really not sure where to start. I had a pretty normal childhood I was lucky enough to have my parents stay together, I think the only thing that might be abnormal was that I lived in 7 different houses by my sophomore year. I was picked on, diagnosed with ADHD (one of the first girls) and struggled with that for a while. But by high school I had it pretty much together. I knew who I was and even though what other people said hurt, I didn't let it change me.
My senior year I started dating Mark we were engaged in August, and married the next June. I had only been 19 for a month. At the age of 20 we had purchased our first home and after I graduated collage as a sign language interpreter life was going pretty good. 2 years into the marriage Mark was diagnosed with a VERY RARE form of cancer (thymus carcinoid not thymic) stage 4 it had already spread everywhere knees up elbows in. Including his brain. There was one on his right ocular nerve that gave him double vision and that symptom is how we found it. We spent a year driving 4 hours to the Mayo clinic and having various treatment. Later we moved closer to the hospital Mark wanted and he found a new job working at the same company as his brother (PTL) After 2 years more of treatments and doctors appts not really affecting our lives too much. It started creating respiratory problems, O2 started in September or so and on December 10th 2007 he passed away. Obviously there is alot more to this story, for the blog I had then go here: http://mhoftyzer.spaces.live.com/
I just got married again this July, Ry is amazing!! He is such a godsend. He understands my baggage and is so very encouraging. One lasting thing I've had since Mark passed was the crazy notion that I can only be happy when I make those around me happy. Not a great way to live, Ryan has been my "Jesus with skin on" helping me work on this. He is also teaching me how to relax. We haven't had too many adventures yet (except our great honeymoon) we are just trying to settle in and renovate the house. I look forward to many many years together!
I'm really not sure where to start. I had a pretty normal childhood I was lucky enough to have my parents stay together, I think the only thing that might be abnormal was that I lived in 7 different houses by my sophomore year. I was picked on, diagnosed with ADHD (one of the first girls) and struggled with that for a while. But by high school I had it pretty much together. I knew who I was and even though what other people said hurt, I didn't let it change me.
My senior year I started dating Mark we were engaged in August, and married the next June. I had only been 19 for a month. At the age of 20 we had purchased our first home and after I graduated collage as a sign language interpreter life was going pretty good. 2 years into the marriage Mark was diagnosed with a VERY RARE form of cancer (thymus carcinoid not thymic) stage 4 it had already spread everywhere knees up elbows in. Including his brain. There was one on his right ocular nerve that gave him double vision and that symptom is how we found it. We spent a year driving 4 hours to the Mayo clinic and having various treatment. Later we moved closer to the hospital Mark wanted and he found a new job working at the same company as his brother (PTL) After 2 years more of treatments and doctors appts not really affecting our lives too much. It started creating respiratory problems, O2 started in September or so and on December 10th 2007 he passed away. Obviously there is alot more to this story, for the blog I had then go here: http://mhoftyzer.spaces.live.com/
I just got married again this July, Ry is amazing!! He is such a godsend. He understands my baggage and is so very encouraging. One lasting thing I've had since Mark passed was the crazy notion that I can only be happy when I make those around me happy. Not a great way to live, Ryan has been my "Jesus with skin on" helping me work on this. He is also teaching me how to relax. We haven't had too many adventures yet (except our great honeymoon) we are just trying to settle in and renovate the house. I look forward to many many years together!
Love is a Verb (Thoughts on Thrusday)
It is so easy to assume that your spouse knows you love them, but love is a verb we need to make a point to show it daily, not just on those oh so seldom date nights.
You can hear the word often but it has no meaning with out action, and if the only action you see is tearing each other down what does that really show? This doesn't have to be some big thing even going out of your way to say thanks to your spouse for something they do everyday will go a long ways.
I know this one is short but that is really all there is to it.
You can hear the word often but it has no meaning with out action, and if the only action you see is tearing each other down what does that really show? This doesn't have to be some big thing even going out of your way to say thanks to your spouse for something they do everyday will go a long ways.
I know this one is short but that is really all there is to it.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Give away
Here is a link to one of my fav websites they are giving away 2 organic homemade shirts!
http://walkslowlylivewildly.com/2009/12/14/one-love-creations-and-indigo-inspired-giveaway/comment-page-3/#comment-10118
http://walkslowlylivewildly.com/2009/12/14/one-love-creations-and-indigo-inspired-giveaway/comment-page-3/#comment-10118
Why do we 'do' devotions?
So what is so great and magical about devotions? Stick with me here I know this sounds bad. But really what is the purpose?
Many people do devotions because they are supposed to, not because they are motivated to learn. I'm not saying devotions are bad, I'm saying they are bad if we are doing the for the wrong reason. We wont learn anything plus we will feel guilt if we miss a day or two. If we feel like we have to do it then it becomes homework.
I will admit I'm not good at devotions, and when I am...I don't get much out of it because it feels like a chore. I learn a lot however talking with Ryan and then we start digging trough the Bible to see what it has to say. We are very careful to check things in context and history (which he knows much more about) to make sure we aren't bending the words to mean what we want them too.
So don't 'do' devotions because you have to, learn because you want to. I've found that I learn a lot more once a week when I'm motivated and focused vs every day when its just a chore.
Many people do devotions because they are supposed to, not because they are motivated to learn. I'm not saying devotions are bad, I'm saying they are bad if we are doing the for the wrong reason. We wont learn anything plus we will feel guilt if we miss a day or two. If we feel like we have to do it then it becomes homework.
I will admit I'm not good at devotions, and when I am...I don't get much out of it because it feels like a chore. I learn a lot however talking with Ryan and then we start digging trough the Bible to see what it has to say. We are very careful to check things in context and history (which he knows much more about) to make sure we aren't bending the words to mean what we want them too.
So don't 'do' devotions because you have to, learn because you want to. I've found that I learn a lot more once a week when I'm motivated and focused vs every day when its just a chore.
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